her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
