I hate your face
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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