So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
PANTIES FOUND
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