She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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