google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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