is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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