My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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