I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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