Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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