If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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