how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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