I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
