I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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