i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
