he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You pole danced in your parka.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
