i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
