Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
