we have officially lost it.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
