I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
