Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
