Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
