Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
