piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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