He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
