Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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