My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
