I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
