i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
