I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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