Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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