but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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