And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
