Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
