Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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