The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dignity is for republicans.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
