his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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