Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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