Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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