I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize