now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
