Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
