I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
