let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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