i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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