she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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