So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
