idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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