if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
