Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
