Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
