I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
