btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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