Capitaan dildo arrescate!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He kissed a someone with a penis
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
