Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
