Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
