Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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