wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
