I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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