my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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