I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
