You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
