you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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